Where did this idea come from that anyone owes you ANYTHING for being nice to them just because you have a romantic interest in them?
If a guy made it his LIFE duty to get me coffee each morning I would honestly assume that he was probably getting all of his friends coffee, too (because that’s what friendly people do).
Unless he specifically handed me a coffee while winking or humping a table in front of me, I really would not think twice about it (or date him because this imaginary guy is actually pretty damn creepy).
What I’m trying to say is, it’s not okay to blame others (MEN OR WOMEN) for not picking up on your social cues unless you’re making it seriously obvious. I’m not telepathic, and there’s a good chance you’re not, either.
Which brings me to the “Friend Zone”, which is a weird concept in itself. If you never told this person, “Yo, I wanna’ be up in yo’ business”, then yeah, like everyone else who’s never said that to them they will assume you may not be a candidate for that. If you have friends you AREN’T romantically interested in, you’ve got some people in YOUR friend zone right now. If you’re reading this, unless you have a thing for black girls that don’t sleep and have mixed feelings about landlines, you’re automatically in my friend zone, too and I’m in yours. How does it feel? DOES IT FEEL LIKE FUCKING NOTHING CHANGED?
Precisely, because the friend zone isn’t actually a thing. It’s not some force that comes over you that prevents us from ever touching each other.
To be more accurate, it’s just a label that means we’re not going to be making babies tonight. Whoops.
Does this mean you’ve been somehow wronged? NOPE. It’s just attraction and yeah it really sucks when it only goes one way, but c’est la vie. Human nature and all that feel good crap about sexual organs. You can’t make yourself more attractive by doing someone’s laundry (NEVER DO THAT YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT).
The only real exception to any of this, is if you’ve made your intentions clear, the person realizes your intentions, and continues in the friendship/relationship with you like your feelings aren’t actually valid. That is just a terrible person. Stop being friends with them. Stop being in love with them. Go outside and fucking build a robot. Just STOP WASTING TIME. As a friend if they actually cared, they’d be honest about their own feelings so you two could get on with your lives. And as a lover if they actually cared, the same rule applies. Anyone who tries to “protect your feelings” either doesn’t trust that you’ll stay around or doesn’t trust themselves and those are both bad news bears for the future.
I really don’t even remember what caused this rant besides an eye roll at some song lyric on Youtube. If nothing else, I just want people to realize that NO ONE is entitled to romantic love. We try to treat love like you treat money and respect, like you “earn” it by doing tasks well or get promoted emotionally. It just does not work that way. No one HAS to love you or like you or date you or want to get to know you. If you have good friends, be thankful you have that because honestly they could all just be building robots instead of hanging out with you. Be glad that there are people who care about you, when they legitimately don’t have to. Just be happy for now. From what I’ve learned of love, it’s extremely random and when it comes you’re going to be so happy that you want to vomit and you should never have to question if they love you or if they love how you bring them free coffee.
*And if you’re currently bringing someone free coffee please redirect that shit to me. PLEASE AND THANK YOU. VERY MUCH.